


To Put Out A Fire

by Sara3467



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Crack, M/M, Read at Your Own Risk, Unapologetic, heaping, of crack, piles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 21:53:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4279257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sara3467/pseuds/Sara3467
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each of us is born with a box of matches inside of us, we just can't strike them all by ourselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyOfTheMist27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyOfTheMist27/gifts).



Sometimes the weight of the world seems too much; almost like it’s inescapable as the pressure to do something _more_ with our life weighs down on our shoulders. We all look ahead for chances of self betterment, strive for utter greatness, and yearn to feel accomplished. So much so that we sometimes forget to look at where we are now, the happiness swirling around us, and the joy of living for the day. Instead we look over our past successes, seemingly unimportant as more things are discovered in the vast world, and live for the future of being recognized, idolized. To be seen as more than just a small piece in an ever-growing puzzle.  

Akihito, however, was content. He was perfectly okay with being a small, unseen piece of a complex machine. He loved the simplicity of living life day by day, not worrying about tomorrow, but just having fun in the moment. In fact, Aki liked being in the background, delighted in it even, because it meant he could do his own thing and would not be judged for his weirdness. And that's what made him memorable, the spontaneity and youthfulness of him making him as unique as a single snowflake. You could see his wild spirit glinting in his eyes, threatening to never be tamed. His soul was so rebellious, yet somehow still pure, lighting up the nature he was around like a ball of raging fire. 

Because Akihito was a mother fucking majestic ass bear.  

And he didn't give a shit about what he SHOULD do, what the judgmental (apparently 'unerring') animals of the forest said was correct for a bear to do. He followed his leading spirit, the gentle tugs at his heart that urged him to indulge in his childishness. To chase that delicate butterfly elegantly drifting in the wind, and track that foreign scent with his petite nose to the ground, snuffling along as he became helplessly lost but still confidently trotted along the forest floor. He even followed his heart when it lead him to be a normal bear, because he didn't mind taking long walks to feel his curiously golden fur ripple in the wind like the rays of an evening sun. Most importantly though, Aki chased his heart when it told him to dance. He would swish and swirl his huge rump around, shaking his body to a secret melody. And then he would find the courage deep in his bright soul to stand up on his hind legs and glide around, waltzing in the dew covered green grass. He waltzed quickly and continually, stretching his dainty paws out as if clutching a lover to his soft chest. He did this until the sun that was not his soul began to set, covering the forest in a warm red glow. That was when the steps and measures slowed, the melody becoming sweeter. Aki would sway like silk in the wind, his shaggy body catching the evening sun and moving so languidly between the trees. He would pretend not to hear the other animals chittering and chattering about how weird he was.

Because Akihito was a bear with fucking sweet moves. And those jealous bitches could kiss his furry ass.

Today was like all those other days that passed and blurred together gently in normalcy, or at least Aki thought it would be. He blinked his big doe eyes open sleepily and made soft noises of contentment, trying to nuzzle back into the comforting warmth that surrounded him like a blanket in his cave. But then his eyes flew open with exhilaration and his paws flew up to his golden face with lightening speed, almost slashing his adorable face with his sharp claws. Repeating his morning routine of clumsily, yet excitedly, stumbling out of his cozy cave with sleep heavy limbs and his nub of a tail not quite bushy, Aki faced the day with childish eagerness, his eyes bright and ready.

At first Akihito acted as any normal, mundane bear. Boring and aggressive. He put on an impeccable performance for the other mean animals, proving to them with all the might his pudgy form could muster, that he could be an ordinary bear. He viciously scraped his sharp claws against the rough bark of a tree, making angry rips into it as little wood chips plopped to the ground. Tapping into all the anger he felt toward the other judgmental bears he opened his powerful jaws and released a cry of intense anger. Every animal in the forest stopped, silence echoing across the streams and trees, spreading out to every nook and cranny. Akihito bathed in it, his great head tilting up in satisfaction as it reverberated back to him. 

Fuck yeah, bitches. 

And with that Aki prodded along on his sturdy four legs, keeping his head raised highly in bittersweet victory and sometimes snuffling up at the whispering fowl in the trees. Robins could be _so_ judgmental.

As he poked and prodded his way along the familiar pathway he felt that gentle tug at his big cuddly heart, spreading a tingly sensation all throughout his shaggy body. He knew what that familiar feeling was. 

Dance time. 

So Aki let his body lead him as he began to gently rock and sway before he fully gave in and was lost in the feeling. He lumbered around, buoyed by the magnificent song of the birds, nesting in the high boughs of the trees, gazing down at this strange, strange bear who desired to dance. Aki didn't even feel their piercing gazes, he twirled and swirled moving along with the calm melody of nature. The beat in his head formed from the whispering wind, soft chatter of the birds and the calm rippling of the water. His nubby stub of a tail began to gently swish along with him, keeping up with the gentle tempo of his furry body.  This is when Aki found his peace, his mind at rest as he solely focused on the sounds and movements, forgetting all other worries.  After a while though, for the first time ever in Aki's short life, he got tired of waltzing. The gentle sway and steps not enough to entertain his free spirited ways. 

He stood for a while, thoroughly stumped on what to do next, just observing his surroundings in hopes of hatching an idea. Trees of all kinds loomed way over his head, home to the colorful fowl and small woodland creatures. The evergreens painted the landscape deep emerald, contrasting with the spring green of the oaks and ashes. He scrunched up his paws, letting the cool, damp soil smush up between his little padded toes, his claws leaving thin stripes in it as he calmed his puzzled nerves. Then an idea bloomed in that golden head of his, remembering the first and only time he had caught a glimpse of some odd humans. He had stumbled across them looking for food to binge on and even in a hungry daze he remembers feeling a deep, soul-binding connection with them. For the humans also seemed to love dancing, a fast paced gyration of their hips and odd movements with their arms and legs, looking like a swarm of intoxicated spiders, weaving a sinful web, perfectly in sync. Of course as soon as they caught sight of Aki's huge golden snout, smiling a killer sharp smile, the shrieks of terror shattered the peaceful forest’s serenity. They ran away, leaving the poor, delicate bear with a broken heart and still no dance partner.

Well, fuck those hoes and their mothers.

After remembering that embarrassing moment, Aki had his mind made and decided to try the different dance. Even he had to admit that it was clumsy at first, his chubby body not flowing together, his different body parts terribly out of sync. So Aki tapped into deep concentration, focusing all his energy on being one with the dance. Not long after that his hips were gyrating perfectly, shaking and rippling with his body like a seductive wave. He wiggled the furry globes of his ass as hard as he could, dropping as low as his little heart could go. And Aki loved it, feeling absolutely exhilarated while bobbing his head to the racing beat he felt through his body, the naive little bear didn't realize it was his heart pumping. His big hips kept undulating rapidly while he stood on his hind legs. Then Aki's front leg began to make exaggerated pulling movements, unconsciously doing the 'starting the lawn mower' move.

With the passing time the sky began to get darker, covering everything in a mysterious cloak of gray, and casting shadows throughout the forest. Not only because of the approaching night, but judging by the looming cumulonimbus clouds there was heavy rain knocking on the door. 

Still dancing, Aki lifted his grand head to sniff at the sky. Rain was definitely coming; he could sense it deep within his wild spirit, a call that echoed in his soul. He snuffled a little more, catching a slightly different scent on the wind. Rain and…fire? 

~~~~~~Meanwhile in Heaven~~~~~~

Timmy was no doubt one of the cutest Angels, his dark chestnut curls contrasting with his pale little body and his big brown eyes could bring anyone to their knees. The real killer though were his two dimples and that little gap between his teeth, the dimples practically radiating innocence and the gap was an imperfection that only added to his perfection. At six years old he was definitely one of the youngest too, meaning he certainly wasn't handed the important roles in heaven. Those roles were given to the higher up angels. Timmy _m_ ainly did small jobs, lighting candles for supper, watering the holy gardens, and annoying all the other angels with his mischief and practical jokes. Tonight was no different; he was supposed to light the candles that sat at the heart of the huge table that would seat God and all the elder angels. Easy. 

The sight of the large dining room always took Timmy's breath away. The room was in a marble and gold theme, with huge creamy marble columns rising up gallantly to meet the gold plated ceiling that casted a warm glow on everything. And in the center was a huge marble table, lined with countess gems that sparkled with a heavenly luster. Timmy marched his confident little body right up to the table, matches in hand. He climbed up into one of the middle chairs made of solid gold, located right in front of the candles. He pulled out one of the small matches and struck it against the box, watching as it sparked to life with a little _whoosh_. 

 

 "So fucking beautiful..." Timmy whispered in awe as the flame lit up his pale face for a second. He quickly lit two of the candles before the match flame got too close to his fingers then proceeded to blow it out.  He grabbed another match out of the box and struck that one. However, the tips of his small fingers were a little bit too close and got burnt. He quickly dropped the lit match through the clouds below, too concerned with sucking his singed fingers. But as he watched the match disappear below his eyes widened in sudden horror.

"SON OF A BITCH! DAMMIT! TIMMY YOU'RE SUCH A FUCK UP!" He reprimanded himself, not seeing the elder angel walk in and gasp, her pale hands rising up to cover her rosebud mouth.

"TIMMY! How many times do I have to tell you, we do NOT use that kind of language!”

"I-I meant…fiddlesticks?" Stammered Timmy, already forgetting about the flaming match plummeting to the earth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ (•__•) ~~~~~~~~~~~

Just as Akihito was pondering what a premonition of fire could possibly mean, a match glided down gracefully from the sky, glowing with a godly light. It stopped him mid shake as it dropped right onto his furry butt.

 _Shit, shit, SHIT!_ Aki was now a bear on fire. 

Almost instantly the acrid smell of the match mixed with the smell of burning fur and assaulted his keen nose. His eyes flooded with panic, scampering around frantically as his whole ass whooshed up in flames. Aki let out a strangled roar of help. FUCK! He just knew he would be ugly as a bald bear! And so he stupidly ran in circles, creating a growing flaming O, unaware of an intense pair of eyes watching his every move.

Asami had first started watching his crazy little bear when he heard a weak, pathetic cry bounce around the  forest earlier this morning, making all the animals pause in fear that someone was hurt. He quickly searched for the source, his huge frame running as fast his stocky legs could take him, the forest becoming a blur around him. The utter surprise was evident on his face when he saw the golden bear scratching a tree, acting high and mighty with false courage. He would have thought it was a cub due to his sheer smallness and cute pudgy body with rounded little ears, but Asami knew better, he wasn't a cub. Something about the smaller, softer bear fascinated him. Not just the strange golden coat, but something about his spirit, almost as if it channeled true wilderness. He didn't think there was anything else but black bears in his forest, he himself being one, but apparently he was wrong. He was taken out of his thoughts when his little companion started dancing so stupidly he almost rolled around in laughter, his burly build shaking with silent chuckles that came out like snorts. That all changed though when his little hips started undulating perfectly, making Asami almost choke on his spit and feel as if he was being entranced, hypnotized by his shaking butt. Drool began to drip out of the corner of his mouth, long sticky strings falling out between his deadly jaws, reaching for the ground. Asami pulled his eyes away for just a second, needing to look away from that luscious body before he gave in to his own wild and more primitive urges. And when he looked back at his bear his eyes widened to almost double their size.

The dumb little fuck had caught himself on fire. 

Asami stared in amazement as this beautiful bear whirled in a panic, somehow still appearing graceful, the smoke dancing off its golden fur and curling upwards towards the gloomy sky. For the first time in his life, Asami couldn't grasp any idea on what to do, his mind blank yet racing with alarm. He scrambled over to his bear in need, and even though he was in a daze he knew he had to save this beautifully majestic creature. So he did the only thing within his tiny bear grasp.

He whipped his penis out. 

Rushing to assistance he angled himself up and let his life essence flow out and save his burning angel. The urine arched like a fountain spray and landed right in the center of the growing flames. Time stood still, moments happening in slow motion for several seconds in order for Asami to realize two valuable lessons. 

1.) Piss does not beat fire

2.) Never put your dick near an open flame

Asami's eyes grew even larger in terror as the flame seemed to leap into the air like a tiny dancer in slow motion, an orange flicker borne on some half-formed breeze, and then gracefully land on his genital area before he could move. And down went the enormous black bear, sprawling and kicking out, joining the other flaming bear on the ground. They tried everything swirling, twirling, bouncing, and looking like twin ends of a flaming baton being moved on the ground. All that could be heard was the homey crackle of a fire and the yelps of the two bears as the nimble fire turned from merely fur singeing to painful heat. 

And right at that moment, it was if God had seen Timmy drop the match from heaven and decided to take mercy on these bears.

After all, God knew a fuck-up when he saw one. And little Timmy was a fuck-up. 

Before the flames could cause any true damage to either bear, the clouds opened their wispy arms and released their cool water. It sluiced down hard on the burning bears, drenching them instantly and snuffing out their flames. The sudden downpour left them panting on the moist grass, watching as the last tendrils of smoke drifted off their fur and rose into the sky.  The trauma of being on fire was still running in their veins, causing their hearts to beat rapidly in their hot bodies. 

Aki was the first one to move, picking each leg up softly, checking for any serious burns. Then he stood and shook out his golden fur that was now tinted black, pieces of it missing on his rump, which sent even more droplets of water to the ground. There were only minor stings on his voluptuous behind from where the dancing flames had left deep footprints. He then turned to the rain slicked black bear lying a few feet away on its side, giving him a once over. Aki blushed under his fur as he took in the sight of his strong savior, the silky black fur that covered masses of muscle and fat. He loved the way it changed to honey gold around his snout, matching the bear’s intense eyes. He couldn't help but wince when he saw his privates, the once perfect, sleek black was now bald, and turning a bright red from the heat. Now Aki _really_ felt bad. He sauntered over to the other bear’s face and began nuzzling at the sides of his head in gratitude and affection. Those golden eyes blinked open and took in the sight of Aki, then went half-lidded at the pleasure of being comforted. Aki slid down on his downy soft belly, keeping his head in the crook of the larger bear’s neck, gently letting out puffs of warm air against the sensitive spot. They laid like that for awhile, until Aki stiffened at the weight of a foreleg and hind leg being thrown over him. Slowly his body relaxed and he cuddled up into the big spoon the black bear created, Aki himself being the little spoon, both of them let out a rumble of deep contentment as the rain continued to pour over them. Unknown to both of them their calming hearts began to beat as one, their brave souls already beginning to lace together. And as they both laid snuggled up into each other's warm embrace they learned something important. 

Akihito may be a fucking weird bear with sweet moves and a fiery rump, but Asami would always be his ass saving bear that would gladly burst into fucking flames for his new lover.

"Double fucking cute..." Timmy whispered as he looked down at the large and small bear. He could already tell the big black one would now protect the smaller, honey colored one. The image would remain ingrained in his head for years, the extreme level of cuteness surpassing all charts, almost completely erasing the guilt he had for dropping that damned match. _Almost_ being the key word. 

"God Timmy, you're such a fuck-up...you'll never amount to anything other than dropping fucking matches on cute ass bears. You deserve nothing, you son of a bitch." Timmy whispered to himself in the Lord's grand dining room, gently rocking himself back and forth.

"TIMMY!"

~~~~~~~~~~ \\(0^0)/ ~~~~~~~~~~

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPRISE BITCHES! *blows the kazoo* I decided to add on to this because it was nudging at my brain! AND BECAUSE LETS FACE IT IM NOT DISTINQUISHED ENOUGH TO WRITE ANYTHING OTHER THAN CRACK....I mean I'm from the fucking woods, I'll be doin good if I don't end up in prison! But anyway, I hope you love it! *gives you big hug while you read*

A lot had changed since their last fire debacle, both bears considering themselves smarter than ever after their traumatic experience. There was no doubt that it had affected their lives for the better, the unforgiving flames serving as a hot branding iron  that brought them together and marked them as each other's . Now they had found their missing half, someone to snuggle with as the wind twirled her chilly fingers in their drafty cave. Someone to tumble around with in the prickly pine needles scattered on the forest floor, playfully wrestling and nipping at each other.  They had finally found someone to love unconditionally, so much so that their little hearts ached with the endless depth. Most importantly for Aki though, he'd finally completed his dream. 

 

He'd scored a sexy ass, explode-your-fucking-heart, dance partner.  

 

Of course Aki had to show Asami all the correct moves, starting with the elegant, graceful ones that made them look as though they were gliding on the wind, their moves flowing together better than peanut butter and jelly. Much to Aki's chagrin though, Asami refused to learn his more fast tempo dances, the ones where he got lost in the focus of making his ass shake and jiggle, but Asami seemed content to just watch Aki do it from a distance. After all, Asami was one pervy ass mother fucker.   

 

Aside from their hectic dance teachings, daily life was quite simple, as a bears life should be.  They woke up together in their quaint little cave they discovered, spent the morning tumbling around the forest, and then the black bear would hunt for its little golden lover. Finally they would lumber back to their humble abode and snuggle in for a good nights sleep.  _Simple._ And to the bears, it looked like things were going to stay that way.

 

_The bears obviously weren't any smarter after the fire._

 

_They were still dumb fucks._

 

_~~~~~~~~•••••_ _•••••~~~~~~~~~_

 

Aki was woken up from a blissfully bittersweet dream of dancing in the great air, swirling high above the wispy clouds while looking down as the suns first golden waves crashed down on the sleeping forest. He felt more graceful than a bird drifting with the winds, having no worries as he dipped and swayed. Performing perfect pirouettes naturally and never missing a beat. It was as he was twirling in a spiral of warm morning air when he felt a rustling. Gently the dream slipped out of his grasp, feeling as if he was sinking into black for a split second. Then the warm sleepy haze faded, his senses beginning to tingle alive, and he roused to an even more snugly warmth of reality. He could feel the soft, still re-growing fur of his lover caress his back as he shifted around, the black bear moving so that Aki was more deeply curled up against him, trapped in the warm embrace of his heavy limbs. It was almost like a momma bear that was snuggling her cub, tapping into the feeling of protection and deep contentment.  _Heaven_. 

 

Aki turned his golden head, gazing up at the grander, midnight head that he had grown to love. His big brown eyes slowly swept down the other bears honeyed snout, following the trail to his big, wet nose that was now snuffling at his neck. As Aki's eyes glided back up their gazes locked. He could see the pure, warm love that swirled in those golden eyes, looking like a gentle breeze drifting though a hay field. In that moment Aki felt as if he had slipped into another dream, feeling the deep comfort those eyes conjured up in him and the lovely innocence of just basking in his lovers presence. 

 

However the tender moment was broken when the golden eyes shifted, looking heated and more like molten lava that threatened to consume all of him he could ever give in flames of white hot lust. The huge black paws that were draped around Aki's downy soft middle began to drift lower, winding down a sensuous golden path until they stopped on the huge furry globes of his shaggy rump. Aki's eyes narrowed a little as the air in their cave turned hot and the sweet atmosphere that he always treasured was shattered, leaving him feeling astounded and irritable at the nerve of this huge lump with wandering paws.  _Oh no you don't, not today son, nobody gonna get all up in this luscious grill_. With that thought, Aki did what any other bear would do if someone was trying to get fresh with them. 

 

He bitch-slapped that thirsty hoe.  

 

His delicate but strong paw whistled through the air then collided with the black bears long snout sharply, creating an audible smack when they connected. A small pop could also be heard as the bear's dark furry cheek slapped harshly against his wicked canines, and his thick head snapped down against the cool, unforgivingly hard cave ground from the force of Aki's paw. Utter silence permeated their cozy cave, echoing around and making Aki want to cower at the deafening lack of noise. 

 

The black bear shook his head as if he were coming out of a daze and trying to clear his head. After a short recollection period his dark head snapped towards Aki, anger and slight confusion whirled in his eyes like a raging tornado. Aki could feel anxiousness as cold and heavy as lead twist at his gut, just realizing the grave and stupid mistake he had made. However, he then remembered how this 'macho' bear tried to cop a feel on him. So he stood his ground, glaring at those golden eyes and raising his snout in the air just a smidgen, like he saw the other pompous bears doing. Aki's own eyes reading ' _fucking deal with it, bastard.'_

 

And the battle began, neither bear looking away from the others piercing stare. Wet snout to wet snout, they kept their position, looking as if they had paused right in the middle of an Eskimo kiss. Both of the bears muscles were locked in place like a cadavers after Rigor Mortis had set in. The only sound was their heavy, shallow breaths that puffed down and danced across both bears snouts. 

 

The intense stare-down ended up lasting longer than expected, time now seeming to pass achingly slow as both bears yearned for the other to just give in. Aki could feel tears well up in his dry eyes and he knew that something had to be done soon or he was going to blink. With a last ditch effort Aki let out a battle cry full of promising victory and clamped his jaws playfully over the other bear's snout. Staying just long enough to give it a little pinch and a slobbery lick, then he darted out of the cave and off into the welcoming wilderness like a bullet. His stumpy legs racing as fast as they could, the fur and fat on his body shaking and jiggling with every leap and bound of his body. The rushing wind that ran its fingers through his fur carried Aki's joyful snorkel-like laughs back to the black bear, who was still sitting more dumbfounded than a whore in a church in their cave.

 

A fucking slow one that black bear is. 

 

Eventually though, the bear got the hint and chased after his crazy lover like there was no tomorrow. Catching up to him swiftly and nipping at his little paws that were scampering rapidly like golden fire balls. Both bears exhilarated at the adrenaline coursing through their veins.

 

Asami felt like nothing could stop him as he trailed behind his playful little bounding sun, everything blurring around them as they weaved through the labyrinth of trees. He could feel his primal, more wild side stirring deep in his soul as he thought about teaching his little one just who's in charge. He was just a breadth away from tackling the honey bear into the soft grass, the wind that flew across his lover and into his face allowed him to smell the fresh pine sent that his lover always seemed to give off and never failed to drive him wild.  _Just one last nip...._

 

And that was when one of Aki's back paws jammed back into Asami's snout. 

 

_FUCKFUCKFUCK, SWERVE!_

 

Butit was too late, and in one split second the grand black bear's dignity and pride were crushed faster than a toothpick. Once again he fell back on his huge rump and just sat shock still, a throb beginning to form in his snout to the beat of his heart.  _Thrump, thrump, thrump._ He could hear his blood rushing, and roaring through his little ears like a dam that had just broke, the water plundering and crashing against his skull. The worst part was the look in his mate's eyes, which were filled to the brim with smugness and a teasing glint. 

 

What a fucking little nark. 

 

 So with all the confidence in the world he lumbered back up on all furry fours, golden eyes filled with determination, and decided to prove to his mate that he could do better. The black bear winced, _a lot better._

 

So Asami strode confidently past his lil bear, nose upturned, and clunked off to catch fresh prey, the ultimate show of macho-ness and affection. 

 

Little did either bear know that they had a little peeping Tom. 

 

_~~~~~~~~•••••_ _️_ _•••••~~~~~~~~~_

 

Once again the forest was in a complete silence, all the animals seeming to understand the seriousness of this catch for the black bear. After all the whole forest respected the bear for his fierceness and powerful aura. The air held a certain morbid concentration, everything seeming to be on edge as they watched the black bear stalk his prey, honeyed brows furrowed in deep concentration. The birds leaned forward on their branches, the squirrels slowly lowering their nuts, and the coyotes stopped their howling. Their stares bore down on the black bear as he silently stalked the young brown rabbit through a clearing, the oblivious creature was munching on the crisp, green blades of grass, nose twitching in adorable unexpectedness. 

 

Now was the time he chose to make his move. _Slowly. Silently. Stealthily._ His heart drumming along as the deep pressure rested on his broad shoulders. The ebony bear had done this plenty of times, catching prey an ordinary task of life, but this time it was different. With his mate and the whole forest watching, calculating every move Asami found it utterly nerve-racking. He crept as quietly as he could, muscles tense as he prepared to spring on the young rabbit.

 

Beside him Aki was too caught up in doing his own thing to be watching his mate hunt. Completely oblivious to it unlike the other animals that watched in rapt awe, finding the way the black bear moved to be totally entrancing. And that moment Aki learned a valuable lesson. 

 

No fucking way can a bear can do the Dougie stealthily. 

 

_SNAP, BOOM, BANG!_

 

Thedancing bear that was shadowing the larger bear tripped flamboyantly on a lone stick, face-planting down hard on the unforgiving forest ground. His fat jiggled and rippled long after his body was stopped by the merciless ground. The air in his lungs whooshed out his muzzle in a small whine, the warm breath curling up towards the clouds and the sound projecting to all the watching animals’ ears. Aki could almost feel their sympathetic winces as shame began to wash over him, swelling up and out from his heart. He peeked up cautiously through his thick lashes at his older lover, immediately regretting trying to do the Dougie while trying to be stealthy as he saw him sigh heavily. Aki had never felt this embarrassed, he just wished for a huge abyss to swallow him up in all of its inky blackness, taking him away from his shame-flushed body.  

 

The rabbit was long gone, the first snap of the twig sending it darting away, frightened with fear radiating out of its eyes, leaving the whole forest to awkwardly resume their chatter, quickly forgetting the intense moment that had once blanketed the atmosphere earlier.  

 

Aki sheepishly got up, trotting over to his lover ready to apologize. The ebony bear’s shoulders were slumped low in disappointment, face staring glumly at the spot the rabbit once sat. When he reached the other bear he gently nuzzled at its neck, his nose rubbing up and down over his silky black fur, trying to convey his apologetic feelings through comforting strokes. 

 

Hurt panged sharp and ricocheted all around his heart as the bigger bear turned his back to him. Seeming to be done with all of Aki's shenanigans and resorted to giving him the cold shoulder. Just as Aki was about to give another loving nudge, the shrubs around the clearing began to shake, little green leaves fluttering down to kiss the ground with the movement. Aki paused in apprehension, waiting for the greenery to spread and reveal their visitor, and what he saw made him go rigid. 

 

Out flounced one of the other pompous black bears, carrying the rabbit proudly between his vicious jaws.  It's charcoal fur was abnormally long and glistened radiantly in the morning sun, his big body somehow seemed petite and delicate. Aki could see Asami's ears perk up as he also took in the gallant sight of this bear, and it made him see a vivid, blinding red. 

 

_Don't you fucking do it bitch....._

 

 

The bear seemed to not receive the golden bear’s telepathic warning, instead choosing to sashay over to the other ebony bear's feet, looking like a lovesick puppy as he dropped the rabbit there like an offering. 

 

Aki was going to fucking _cut_ this hoe.

 

Steam practically brewing out of his ears, Aki stomped around to face this bear, steps so heavy with anger they left little craters in the grass. When he finally stood claw to claw with the bitch, looking him dead in the eye, he almost lost it for real. The ebony bear's eyes held smug satisfaction at being able to catch the rabbit, his eyes conveying to Aki how much more superior he thought he was. A challenge glinted in his chocolate eyes. For a second the look got to him, the malignant intent of the ebony bear worked and for once, Aki felt odd. 

 

It wasn't just anger that warmed his pulsing blood, threatening to consume him its fiery wrath. No, there was something more. It was a twinge at his heart, a little piece that ached yet still longed for something, a small tug at his heart that felt like it was constricting his breathing. Aki felt inferior. Jealous of the other bears talent.  

 

And it stung like a motherfucking herd of pissed off bees.  

 

But then Aki thought of his lover. How exhilarated it felt to be with him, sharing memories and romps together, being able to live for the moment and not caring about what other animals thought. And he realized that that's what his lover liked too. He enjoyed the way Aki could get him to loosen up, not worry about constantly looking like a macho hero to the other bears. His lover liked his dumb antics and unacceptably childish behavior. His lover liked him....for him. 

 

So instead of letting those hot, angry tears well up in his big brown orbs like little wells of despair, he smirked right back. A little lift of his gums that allowed the other bear to be able to see his sharp, white incisors that looked like vicious razors in his mouth. As their breath mingled together in hot, moist wisps Aki nudged the other bear hard in the shoulder with his snout. If a battle was what he wanted, a battle he would get. Aki was not about to let some pansy ass normal bear get his lovers heart, so he challenged him to the thing he knew best, inside and out. 

 

_That's right bitchbear, a mutha fuckin dance battle._

 

Aki's smirk got wider with the prissy bear's eyes, obviously catching him off guard. He dared the other bear to make the first move, knowing deep down inside that the other bear didn't stand a chance. After all he had been practicing dance for years, had danced circles around this forest. While this snob had just sat back and mocked Aki's stupidity. This was his chance.  _Vengeance._

 

However before Aki could do anything the raven furred bear suddenly pranced to the center of the clearing, his eyes determined, showing the vicious heat of competition. The forest once again fell dead silent, all animals shocked to their core that the conventional black bear would dare to take up a dance duel. Especially with the renowned dancing bear, who all had watched frolic beneath the plush green canopy of the forest's trees. They were once again on the edge of their seats as anticipation bubbled up. Aki just snorted. 

 

_What a fucking attention whore._

 

That was when the graceful bear began to dip and sway elegantly, delicately drifting across the plush grass. Every single pair of eyes was transfixed on the ebony flash of grace. He nimbly performed the ballet piece in a melancholic fashion, landing several pirouettes then swiftly transitioning to a series of allégros, then slowed down to a more passionate, melodramatic measure. All the animals were completely entranced, looking down at the bird in awe as the fluidity of piece astounded them. But more so, Aki was astounded. At the audacity of this fucking conniving, whore of a copybear. 

 

_Awwww HELL no. THAT IS MYDANCE INBRED. _

 

Aki's eyes bugged from the fury that seemed to overtake him like a blazing inferno, the anger licking across his skin and warming it like small flames of a fire. This bear was copying  _his_  dance. The dance he worked hours on, perfecting each and every landing. All the brutal aerial jumps that left his paws numb for days and his muscles protesting with every tiny move. However all Aki could do was just sit back and watch as his woodland neighbors fell in love with the cheaters perfect performance. What he was completely unprepared for was his mate's expression.

 

 _Fwip._ The sound Aki made as he completely flipped his mother fucking shit.

   

With steam practically rolling out of his ears he stomped to the center of the clearing where the bear was mid split. He trotted angrily past his lover who was gazing in admiration at the other black bear, sniffing at him like he was a piece of scum on his shoe. When he was dead center he let out a single, tree-shakingly mighty roar, immediately breaking the trace of the animals and abruptly stopping the performer. Aki let out another roar of rage, the shrillness echoing in a cry that called for retaliation. 

 

HE DANCES ON A THRONE OF LIES, MUTHA-FUCKAS! 

 

BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!

 

MAY REVENGE BEFALLETH ON THOSE THAT HATH SINNED! 

 

Crickets began to chirp as harsh silence once again permeated the amphitheater of sorts the forest had created. Nervous glances were shared amongst the animals as they took in the scene this PMSing bear had put on, all of them unsure of how to react as the tense mood began to thicken. A light chatter began to swell up as each of them wished for the burgeoning conflict to be squandered. Anxiously they watched the golden bear pace to and fro in rage, then coming to a halt as if a conclusion had been reached. 

 

As he halted Aki could feel a great epiphany blooming up. This bear deserved more than just a reprimand for being a cheater, much more. He needed to be so humiliated, so far crushed into the ground that there was no way he would ever recover. 

 

_Aim for deep emotional damage. Come on Aki, make him socially inept for life damnit!_

 

He was going to blow all their mother fucking socks off. With dance.

 

 _~~~•••_ Meanwhile in heaven _•••~~~_

 

Normally in God's waiting room all that could be heard were the calming strokes of the harp players, content with strumming their nimble, pale fingers over the strings, and the soothing trickle of water from the many waterfalls of heaven. On occasion you could hear the beautiful humming of a patient angel, waiting for their private time with the Lord diligently. After all, he was a  _very_ busy man with all his earthly problems and with the fewer heaven debacles, so the angels did their best to leave him be. However, today the pristine white walls with accents of calming mints and teals were almost vibrating with the shouts of an angry angel.

     

"FUCK THIS SHIT.... I'm done with being the fuck up! All I ever hear is Timmy this, Timmy that. TIMMY WE DONT DO THAT, TIMMY I WILL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR  SHITTY LIL BODY, TIMMY GO FUCKING KILL YOURSE-" 

 

He was cut off by the eldest angel who was used to his shenanigans and obvious sailors mouth at this point. 

 

"Timmy, you're the one that threatens to break all your bones and tells you to kill yourself...." Even though her crystal blue eyes were full of reprimand and her tone was overloaded with enough scolding to give Timmy the decency to blush, anyone could tell that she was disturbed by the self-loathing little angel.  

 

After his little outburst Timmy picked at his silky white shirt, fiddling with it like a nervous kid in front of his angry mother, his brown eyes downcast. His little pale hands shook with anxiousness as he was about to face his Great Lord. He had received the word from Christine the head angel that God wanted to speak with him about the match incident and overall general behavior in the high heavens. 

 

He was  _so_  fucking screwed.  

 

In that moment the doors of the Lord's office opened in a grand flourish, sending a peaceful energy throughout the waiting room as the angels harmonized one single glorious high note. To most it caused a feeling of comfort, an internal satisfaction of being close to ones Lord, but not for Timmy. Because he knew when he was going to get his ass whipped. 

 

And Timmy was going to get his ass whipped. 

 

Christine stood up happily, grasping at Timmy's hand and dragging him through the door with pep any angel would be proud of. Her brown curls bouncing and the white silk of her robe flowed behind her gracefully like the wings of a dove, stretching out and giving her the natural ethereal look that all angels seemed to have. Her big blue eyes sparkling as she walked into the room confidentially yet radiating the highest respect. She brought Timmy out from behind her as she reached the grand desk where the Lord sat, presenting him like an unruly sacrifice to the lord. Timmy scowled and yanked his arm out of her grasp as she trained her megawatt smile on him, the brightness temporarily blinding him. He looked everywhere else but the Lord as Christine chattered to him a million miles an hour, taking in his luxurious office.

 

Two of the four walls were glass, allowing you to look out over the flourishing floral gardens of heaven while also allowing an abundance of natural light to flood in. It lit the room up in a bright, pure glow that reflected welcoming comfort in a way artificial lighting lacked. Similar to most structures in heaven the other two walls were made of thick, sturdy marble that creates an elegant permanence. However instead of more soothing, light colors this room had accents of deep royal purple and navy, creating the perfect balance between a divine ruler and a gentle guide. Finally Timmy allowed his eyes to stray up the Lord's massive desk made of solid white pine that had been refinished to go with the white and grey of the marble. 

      

At last he took in the familiar face of the Lord with his long brown hair and trimmed beard, his chocolate brown eyes looking at him with a smiling glint. Immediately the nerves vanished, replaced with an intense irritableness.

 

_Here it fucking goes._

 

He let out an audible sigh as Christine goaded him forward and into the chair facing the desk and left quietly with an over-enthusiastic bow.

 

_Thank God, I was beginning to think she'd orgasmed herself into a fangirl coma._

 

The sound of the doors closing rang out through the room as if sealing Timmy's fate. Followed by the deep, hearty voice of God. 

 

"Timmy, it's such a pleasure to-"

 

"Cut the bullshit," Timmy snarked out, cutting him off mid-sentence. He wasn't in the mood to play around; everyone knew the Lord and him weren't on good terms. Still, God continued to put his best foot forward, quickly diminishing the spark of anger in his eyes and trying to summon his patience.

 

"Timmy, we do  _not_  use that language here. However we will 'cut the crap' and get to the point. I assume you know why you're here, yes?" 

 

Timmy sighed long and hard, swinging his short legs under the chair in boredom. _Ok Timmy, just suck it up and get out of here quickly. Do not make an even bigger scene. _

 

"Cause I've been a bad, bad boy. You gonna spank me for it daddy?"  

 

_Fuck._

The Lords eyes flared again in anger at the disrespect, sparking a tinge of fear into Timmy. His hands clenched slightly in an effort not to snap and he spoke in a deadly calm voice.

 

"No, but I certainly have other methods. Those of which all include a very unhappy angel. Now, you are here for the numerous complaints of just about every other angel on your 'reckless and disturbing' behavior. What do you have to say to that?"

 

"BLASPHEMY! THE FUCKERS LIE!" Timmy's shrill protesting cries rang out loud and clear, even though he knew that the other angels spoke the truth. By now Timmy had sat up straight as a board and was glaring at God, whose eye twitched at the curse word. However a smug look hid a deeply seated irritation in his features as he leaned in just slightly toward Timmy. 

 

"So you're saying you can't recall the Russian roulette incident four weeks ago? The one where you sent five angels into critical care for serious injuries?" 

 

That was when Timmy began to sweat. 

 

"Erm.....n-n-no?" He stammered nervously, trying to think of a way to get off this subject. 

 

"No? Well let me jog your memory. I got a report two weeks ago from Gabriel, my first reporter, saying how a certain angel had caused a major disturbance. Naturally, I looked into it and was surprised to find the full extent of the damage and sin committed by such a small angel as yourself. Somehow you were able to get your hands on and smoke 5 ounces of weed beside the courtyard gate. Unfortunately it was where the Sunday morning church service was going on. Gabriel then believes that while you were high you pulled out a bow and whole sheath of arrows you had retrieved from our armory. Now for the next part we have confirmation from several eyewitnesses in the courtyard. You were then seen shooting up 7 arrows straight up into the air and yelling, "RUN YOU FUCKERS!" Before watching the utter chaos erupt. Then you stumbled off while giggling insanely and wasn’t seen for three days. Now does that ring a bell for you?"  

 

Unable to act any other way but in defiance he tilted his head up and away from God, refusing to look at him, and shook his head. He spat out a steely denial. 

 

"No, you have the wrong angel. I heard a rumor that Christine finally went off the deep end and decided to kill off her own kind.....tragic really." 

 

The lord let out a single snort, obviously getting tired of their banter. 

 

"I highly doubt it. I have several other occurrences where Angels have came in and cried out for you to be cast out of heaven for your sinner lifestyle." 

 

_Son of a bitch, those backstabbing little cunts._

 

Timmy just looked him dead in the eye as if daring him to say the other accusations out loud. To his surprise the Lord accepted and continued on.  

 

"Three weeks ago you made a huge public ordeal about killing yourself in the town square due to your accident of knocking a fruit stand over. In which you said, and I quote,' TIMMY, YOU WHORE OF SATAN! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE BITCH! Pick up the fruit! Pick it up with your mouth and place it back in a perfect pyramid, GOD SAVE YOUR ASS IF THERES TEETH MARKS!' After that you stalked quite determinedly to the huge oven for roasting and preceded to try to shove yourself in. Now is that in your memory?"

 

Timmy went to make another comment but the Lord cut him off.

 

"Or how about the time you held a drunk shotgun party and invited everyone to come and 'see how many of those winged fuckers we can shoot down'? And what about last Wednesday when you gathered all the Angels and gave a speech about how you were going to 'run this motherfucker and establish your own religion'? I mean come on, you were seen threatening to start a new religion in  _heaven_!" 

 

Timmy watched as the lord let out a great sigh and reclined back into his chair with a cool mask. Dread formed in his stomach as he realized his goose was cooked, but was unable to stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. 

 

"I believe the stats were good on the speech. You might want to look over yours but-" 

 

"Timmy we all know this is going nowhere. The angels wouldn't even be here if they didn't fully believe in this religion." 

 

"I'm here."

 

Timmy was pretty sure he heard the lord let out a sharp exhale of breath that vaguely sounded like a snarl. Then the lord let out a quick, commanding warning. 

 

"TIMMY, watch it."

 

"Of course.....Master." Timmy said with a devilish grin on his face as he dropped his voice down to a seductive purr. At this point the Lord had reached his breaking point. Huge, imposing cumulonimbus clouds gathered around, easily seen through the glass. Harsh thunder rumbled, making the glass vibrate slightly.  

 

"I SAID THAT IS ENOUGH. NOW YOU WILL SIT AND LISTEN LIKE A WELL MANNERED ANGEL. DO YOU HEAR ME?! ENOUGH." 

 

Something snapped inside Timmy as he looked at his irate lord, his playfulness vanishing in less than a second. Immediately his mind began to battle with himself, one side turning against the other in a freakish battle of sane versus insane. He pulled his small legs up against his chest, wrapping his slim, pale arms around them. Slowly his eyes began to grow blank, staring at everything and nothing as he slowly rocked back and forth. 

 

"Yeah Timmy.....always a fuck up, even Satan would be ashamed to claim you as his son. DO YOU HEAR ME?!? YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING YOU UNGRATEFUL SLUT! KILL YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN BREED, SACRIFICE YOURSELF SO OTHERS MAY BE FREE OF YOUR TORMENT! MAY YOU BE CURS-" 

 

Snapping, the Lord let out a single roar, a huge crack of lightening darting out of the thick, dark clouds mercilessly. The instantaneous boom shook the whole office while lighting it up to almost blinding, Timmy quickly closing his eyes to escape the harsh light.  It stopped him mid-sentence his heart racing as the lightening seemed to shake his already frazzled nerves also. 

      

       "Go. Now."

 

   With fear running rampant through his veins he listened to the single fury-filled order the lord gave him. His legs couldn't carry him fast enough as he bolted out of the office, down the long corridors, and all the way home. They were both oblivious to the extent of the Lords anger.

 

 

_~~~~~~~~•••••_ _️_ _•••••~~~~~~~~~_

_•Meanwhile in a vicious dance battle•_

 

Aki could feel the pairs of eyes watching him as he panted heavily in the middle of the clearing, anger still coursing through his veins. He jerked his head towards the long haired bear that looked quite nervous under his scrutiny. 

 

_You better be nervous bitch._

 

And Aki proceeded to chase him off the clearing, bounding after him and snapping his monstrous teeth inches away from the others petite face. It left the other bear no choice but to scamper frantically backwards, not given enough time to turn around. When Aki was satisfied with the black bears position at the edge of the clearing, he stomped back to the center. Spinning around in a full circle he glared at the tree line, trying to give off his best ' _I'm a cutthroat bitch’_ look _._

_It's time motherfuckers._

 

With one last glare to his lover he took his starting pose, all the forest critters slowly stopped their chittering, shocked that anyone would go up against the dance they just witnessed. He stayed in his starting pose for just a second, his golden paws resting on his hip that was cocked out sassily, head turned to the side and eyes cast downward. 

 

Then, Aki danced. And none of them mutha fuckas were ready for it. 

 

Unlike that bitchbear, he didn't go soft and passionate. Aki went full blown hard and lustful. His movements were fast paced and rough, starting out with popping his delicious ass and shaking his big, rounded hips, almost beckoning the other animals to come closer. He would add in slow undulations of his body, mostly in the direction of lover, and look over his shoulder in an innocently naughty way that he knew would drive all the animals wild. At one point he stood on his hind legs and touched the ground right in front of them with his paws, shaking his ass as hard and as fast as he could, the full golden globes almost seeming to clap together. Then he slowly raised himself back up, a sultry look in his eye and he just so happened to catch his lovers gaze. A shiver ran up Aki's spine at the lustful look those golden eyes held, a small column of drool dripping down off his tongue. Aki sent him a devilish wink and resumed his show, after all, it was the finale time. 

 

He ended his dance in a series of languid twists and fast gyrations, feeling all the animals heated gaze on him. Finally, in his grand finale move he dropped down into a split while making one last fluid roll of his vivacious body and to the attempted lover-stealer he let out a loud roar of possession.

 

_HE IS **MINE**!_

 

With the ending word he sent a harsh jab of his claw in the slut’s direction. And that's when the bright, golden sunshine flashed a bright, light fluorescent blue as a single bolt of lightning pierced the sky and struck the ebony bear right before everyone's eyes. For a split horror-filled second Aki watched as the bear jerked from the powerful electricity its long midnight hair stood on end making him resemble a black fur ball and Aki could have swore he saw the bear's skeleton for an instant. And just like that the bolt was gone, the sunny rays once again casting a warm glow on the clearing. However in its wake lay the black bear that had collapsed with shock, literally, small plumes of smoke rising from his body still twitching with aftershocks. 

   

Aki's eyes were practically bulging out of his skull as he slowly, ever so carefully raised his paws in the air in front of his face. Turning them around he looked at them in awe, and as his horror diminished he found himself smirking at the crumpled form of his lover’s try-to-be mistress. Surprisingly all the other animals were silent as well, but Aki could feel their shocked and wonder-filled gazes all across his skin. When he looked at his mate he could see the pride radiating from his molten eyes, making even more pride swell up in his chubby chest. 

 

_Fuck yeah, bitches. Bow down, bow down I say for I am your new queen._

        

He lumbered over to the smoking form and sniffed at it, quickly scrunching his nose up at the familiar smell of burnt fur. He didn't know whether to be happy or disappointed when the toasted bear let out a little groan of pain. Smugness of Aki's victory once again took over and he leaned down next to the bears twitching ear and let out a grunt of victory. 

 

_Checkmate hoe._

     

Aki then decided that it would cause an even bigger impact to just leave the scene nonchalantly, which would put the fear of God straight into those bitches. _No one tries to steal my lover and walks away. No one._ So he sashayed over to his still awestruck soulmate who had a dazed look on his face and nudged his big furry neck with his wet snout.  The amber eyes snapped to meet his chocolate ones and Aki could have peed on him. 

 

_The fucktard was turned on._

 

Aki scowled before rolling his eyes at his lovers hopeful gaze and sending him the, ' _We're going to have a talk when we get home'_ look. The color basically drained out of his fur at the sentence. So without a word he strutted home in front of his dingleberry of a mate, adding a little extra swing to his hips. What can he say? 

 

_Class before ass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews make me happy! Vewy vewy happy! THANKS/ SHOUT OUT TO MY BEST AMIGA LADY FOR HELPING ME EDIT MY INBRED MISTAKES! RUUUUUUV ROOOO!

**Author's Note:**

> THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES! You just read a crack fic about Aki and Asami being fucking flaming bears! *starts singing Alicia's Keys* He's just a bear and he's on fire........and also about a self loathing six year old....BUT I HOPE YOU LOVE IT! COMMENTS ROCK MY WORLD *blushes and struts off to go cuddle with bear Aki and Asami*


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